


How do I say "I miss you"?

by huimannng



Category: K-pop, K.A.R.D (Band)
Genre: A bit of fluff not gonna lie, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff and Angst, Longing, Phone Sex, Reader-Insert, the tiniest bit of angst too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:41:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22222735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huimannng/pseuds/huimannng
Summary: You were used to spending some time apart from Matthew by now, with both of your work schedules always being so packed. However, this time the waiting feels a bit extra difficult and you're trying to figure out why.
Relationships: BM/Reader, Matthew Kim | BM/Reader, Matthew Kim/Reader
Kudos: 24





	How do I say "I miss you"?

**Author's Note:**

> The inspiration for this one came after I watched BM's surprise live on VLive, the first one of 2020. He was just so cute and handsome and then he totally flipped it at the end by playing his AYWI demo and oof-- I just had to. Hope y'all enjoy it!

You are missing him more than you are used to. When you both have to stay apart due to your work schedule things tend to be easier on your emotional health. It's like your brain has been warned ahead of time and you know there is nothing you can do about it. The distance isn't simply because you are in different cities and timezones. Even though that is true, each of you has your own thing going on and is happy to be able to work with what you love. 

However, this time your brain is like " _Fair reason? That's the shittiest reason I've ever heard_ ". Or maybe that is your heart speaking. And that is Matthew's fault since he was responsible for making you fall in love so deeply. For the past two years, he had taught you what love was really supposed to feel like and you had been unable to stop it from happening. Your love and appreciation for him had only grown – apparently to the point where being away from each other for too long at once now felt unbearable.

And you can't even scold him for it. Not only because he is right and it makes your life infinitely better in comparison to everything you had been through before but also because saying it out loud makes it worse. There is nothing any of you can do to fix it at this very moment and eventually he would feel guilty about it, you just knew. And then _you_ would go into a guilt trip.

Because of that, you rarely exchange " _I miss you_ "s. They just tend to be the underlying tone of your day-to-day conversations, especially in the " _I love you_ "s by the end. Still, it is all bugging you a bit more than usual this time around and you can't pinpoint why. After all, you have been apart before, it is a scheduled break, you have your things to worry about and you have been going out frequently with your friends. You're busy, surrounded by loved ones, had been warned beforehand and yet, every free second that you got you were thinking about how you wish he was here, how wonderful it would be if you could share these moments... It feels weird, to say the least. It's like you have two very different people living inside you at the same time and one enjoys herself tremendously while the other keeps sulking at the corner.

Your phone buzzes on the table in front of you. You go to check and it’s a voice note from him. How ridiculous is it that your heart still skips a beat just like it did when you started dating?

You press play and rejoices in how extra deep his voice sounds. And there are no excuses for it unless he has just woken up from a nap (which isn’t possible since you know how much he hates them because of how groggy he is afterwards, slowing him down for a solid hour or two). Sometimes when talking to you, Matthew turns his sexy mode without even noticing it. Right now, his timing couldn’t be worse – it almost physically hurts you how you can’t immediately touch him and feel his skin against yours. 

“ _Hi, baby… Don’t know if you’ll be up already, but-- good morning, by the way [laughs]. I hope you were able to get some sleep – you texted me awfully late yesterday. Anyway, if you’re up, I’ll be going live on VLive in about 10 minutes. Doing a surprise live for the fans since I haven’t been active this year yet. I think I’ll be on for an hour or so since I have some time off today._ ”

He said it nonchalantly and took his time explaining his plans to you, almost as if he was doing something else at the same time and not truly paying attention to what he was saying. It was slightly funny to you how you were able to envision him like that, sitting in his recording studio clicking away, sorting through tracks and lyrics files. You had witnessed that look on his face many times while visiting him when he was producing. It had a calming effect on you, both knowing he had a passion and that you were able to get his attention even during those moments. 

“ _Well, yeah… That’s it. I didn’t know if it was too early to text you but wanted to let you know nevertheless. If you’re not able to watch it, that’s okay. Let me know when you wake up and I’ll give you a call. Wanna hear that sugary voice of yours. [Rustling of cables of some sort.] Morning, love. Love you._ ”

You laughed under your breath at the mention of your “sugary voice”. You couldn’t sing even if your life depended on it and that had been a topic between you both even before you began going out on dates. That and the fact that you were a sugar addict while he was a gym freak plus some recurring comments every time you went out to eat had turned it into an inside joke. He did have a genuine appreciation for your voice though, having expressed it many times later on while begging you to believe him. 

For a moment you considered not answering him right away and just watching the live stream without him being aware of it but you knew he could check if you had listened to the voice note or not. You were also too needy yourself right now to tease him in any form. Pressing the record button, you answered.

“ _안녕하세요, handsome. I'm glad you decided to text me. To be honest,_ _I've been up for a few hours now. I was almost late for the meeting I had with Hyuna unnie about her next MV and it has been a bit of a chaotic morning. I didn't check my phone except for her emails, that’s why I didn't text you earlier_."

It had been a stressful morning, now that you stopped to think about all you had done. It hadn't been a bad one, though. You loved Hyuna and had become great friends with her since you arrived in Korea, back in 2015. You also appreciated her as an artist and were so excited to be able to work with her again. 

However, Matthew mentioned your text late at dawn. He noticed it, of course. You thought you'd be able to get away with it but the fact that he mentioned it right away meant he would bring it back up again. It warms your heart how considerate he is even though you don't want to try and explain yourself. It would break the unspoken rule you seem to have in your relationship. Also, you don't want to turn it into a bigger thing than it actually is. You shrug it off, your voice already sounding chipper.

" _Anyway, I'm opening VLive right now. Wow, I don't even need to get a notification, I'm a privileged Hidden Kard like that [snort]. By the way, I think you should talk about the new Staydium merch already, start spreading the rumor and get people hyped. Excited to get to see your face, babe. Love you, have fun_."

As soon as the app indicated that your audio was delivered it also showed that he had pressed play. He must have seen that you were online and was waiting for your response. Now it was your turn to wait for what would probably be a quick text before he went on to start the live stream. That's not what happened, though.

**Author's Note:**

> Remember to leave kudos if you liked it! Thanks <3
> 
> Follow me on twitter for more @triplealien. :)


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